VALENTINES DAY

February 14th
Valentine’s day
Here all alone
I wish you were here
To take me in your arms
To feel your lips over mine
Why are you so far away ?
I wanna feel beautiful in your eyes
I wanna feel safe in your arms
And feel your heart beat next to mine

SADNESS OF VALENTINES DAY

Valentine’s day
Hearing nothing but fucking love songs on the radio
Just to get people even more depressed
Thinking about everything they don’t have
The loved one that they lost
The kisses they crave
The arms they want to feel safe and loved in
The ‘I love you’ they want to hear

WHY DIDN'T I DIE LAST NIGHT ?

Sitting near the sink
Feeling a bit dizzy after all the meds
Tears in my eyes
Craving the ultimate release
Watching the blood falling down my veins
Before falling asleep
Thinking that I’d never see the light again
Unluckily waking up a few hours later
My own blood around me
Cleaning up the mess quickly
Mad not understanding what happened
How come I woke up ?
Why can’t I Just close my eyes forever ?
And never open them again ?
Why can’t I just be relieved ?

I NEED IT

Here at work
All alone
Something has happened
So stressed so far from heaven
Right now I need it
Even though I hate it
Why is it always that way ?
Maybe it doesn't matter anyway
Someone used them
And left them right near me
Like if they knew that I needed them
I'm trying to be strong
Cause I know it's wrong
But it's so hard

I'M NOT SICK

I'm not sick
I'm not crazy
I don't need help
Or maybe I do
But what would it change ?
I trust nobody
People only want to use and hurt me
I don't want to bother someone
With my stupid things
Sometimes I don't even know what worries me
I just know the way I feel
And sadly what I need !

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING

I woke up this morning
With this pain in my chest
Don't know where it comes from
But it hurts everytime I breathe
Maybe it's my body telling me STOP
Because I treat it so bad
Because I hate it
Almost as much as it hates me
We don't work together as a team
Years ago I started destroying it
Not by choice but by obligation
Now I'm caught in this shit
In doing the same thing everyday
I hate doing that but I have to
I can't control myself
It hurts so much deep inside
That I have to let it out
My way isn't the best
To be honest it's even the worst one I could ever find
But now it's too late
I'm caught in this hell
Everyday I wish it would end
Or I would be strong enough
To end it all myself again
And succeeding this time
Because this nightmare I've been living in for years
Becomes worse everyday
This is too much for me to take

I CRY

I cry thinking about my life
Maybe you'd see if you looked me right in the eye
This fate I didn't choose
All I can do is loose

I cry watching a movie
Emotional as you could see
These feelings I can't control
It's too much I can't take them all

I cry watching my blood
Sometimes it's kinda odd
Deep inside I wish I would die
To stop being hurt in this life

INSTEAD OF MOVING ON

Instead of moving on
I refuse to see
What's in front of me
And I can't go on

Stuck somewhere in my life
Don't know where
Like a stranger I just stare
Maybe I'm blind