THE KNIFE PRESSED AGAINST MY THROAT

The knife pressed against my throat
What if I miss it ?
What if I fail ?
I would remain here with no voice
No words would come out of my mouth anymore
Not like I speak now, anyway
Nobody would notice a difference
They never listened before so why today ?
'A quick cut and it'll all be over'
The voice in my head says
'Be strong, you know you want to do it'
I'll bleed to death on the floor
Within minutes I'll be covered in my blood
Is it right, is it wrong
Nobody will ever know

I BLEED KNOWING YOU DONT CARE

I bleed knowing you don't care
Feeling like nothing's there
Trying to forget about the internal pain
Bleeding out my anger, stress, failure and pain
The only thing I can do
Even if I don't want to
Nothing else matters
I'm shattered
You don't know why
I can never cry
I will fake you a smile
Telling you everything's alright
Don't worry: I'm fine!

THE EMPTINESS AROUND ME

Empty gaze
I stare at you
Like nothing's there
Do I even know you ?

SECRET LIFE

What you see
Isn't what I am
What I say
Is just what you want to hear
What I hide
Is everything you couldn't understand
That fake smile on my face
So you believe everything's alright
The angel face
So you believe anything I say, every lie I tell
I'm so quiet never saying a word
Because you don't care what I have to say
And wouldn't listen anyway
And you don't know it's boiling inside
Secret painful life everyday
My secrets, none of your business

TEARS IN THE RAIN

Walking in the rain
Tears upon my face
I know you can't see them
Anyway, you wouldn't even if there wasn't the rain

NOT IN CONTROL

I'm not in control
And don't want to fight
It's too hard
I can't win
Everytime I try
I fall harder
I can't do it
I'm weak
I give up