He said he loved me
I guess it made me feel happy
Then the next thing I know
He lay me down
He stripped me naked
And my vision went black
As he did that to me
I was petrified I couldn't move
It all happened so fast
He hurt me so bad
In my head and body
It's been now a year
And I still can't sleep
Or even try to live
As I keep reliving it 24/7 in my head
Day and night
Always feeling that pain
And all those nightmares
Scared of men to death
Hating myself even more
Talking about that to nobody
Trying to pretend it didn't happen
I wish I died a year ago
The blade here more than ever
I always thought
My first time
Would be something special
So nice and romantic
And certainly not... rape!
Now everyday as I'm hurt by all that
And everyday I blame myself
Thinking it's my fault
I trusted him, he loved me
Those thoughts as I replay that hurt me so bad
It's killing me more everyday
Keeping it all inside
Like always all I can do is hide
And ease the pain my own way
The blade closer than ever
