I block out everyone Put on my fake smile So nobody would ever guess Soon the blood pour from my veins It's red, it hurts, it feels good Just what I need For clearing my head Of those painful emotions I try to forget Relieved for a short moment Before it all comes back Stronger and worse again
Everytime I look at myself I feel disgusted I want to be different Several times I tried But I guess it's impossible The only thing to do To go through the day You feel better because you don't know You feel better because it's not you
In my 30s, self diagnosed BPD, suffering so much everyday yet telling nobody, secretly wishing someone could save me... Hard to talk this is why I write anonymously.