SOMEONE

Come to me
Maybe I’ll let you in
Talk to me
Be there for me
Don’t judge me
Try to understand
Ease my pain
Do something
Save me

EYES SWELLED UP WITH TEARS

Eyes swelled up with tears
Begging for release
Blade in my hand
So many things to get rid of
Through my veins the pieces fly
Secret pain
Secret shame
Ashamed of the truth
My problems drip away from me
I hide them from you
Everyday the only thing I can do
I wish you could save me from this hell

DON’T

Don’t take pills to be able to close your eyes
Don’t drink to think or worry less
Don’t use the blade everyday to numb the pain in your head
Don’t purge or refuse to eat when you’re the only one to see yourself fat
Don’t keep everything to yourself when you could have someone to share with
Don’t stay away from people because you fear the look they would give you
Don’t avoid the world
Don’t be too nice and let others use you
Don’t keep telling yourself that nobody can understand because somewhere someone can
Don’t ever think you’re alone
Don’t be ashamed of yourself, what you do
Don’t put on a fake smile
Don’t hesitate to tell someone what’s wrong
Don’t always expect the worst to happen
Don’t try to end your life because someone would miss you
Don’t feel unloved because somewhere someone loves you
Don’t give up on yourself because there’s always hope
Don’t be stupid
Don’t be me

DO YOU REMEMBER ?

Do you remember
How it was like
The very first time

Do you remember
The way you felt that first time
It went into your skin

Do you remember
How everything changed
So fast becoming someone else

Do you remember
The first time you hid
The first lie you told

Do you remember
How isolated you chose to be
To keep your secret safe

Do you see now
How much you regret
That day when it all started

THE ONLY THING TO DO

I watch you in my hand
Knowing you understand
Then I close my eyes
Thinking of new lies
Soon I feel like it burns
I need it
I seek it
The drops hit the floor
As I’m standing against the door
Then for a short moment only remains the physical pain
For a while I’m relieved of the emotional pain
I know this isn’t the solution
But it’s the only one I know

MOTHER

Trying to force me to tell her what’s wrong
I don’t want to talk
I want her to leave me alone
I fake a smile telling her I’m alright
She says I’m a bad liar
Hearing that makes me want to laugh
After everything I’ve always had to hide
And it’s been for half of my life
She always believes my lies
Tonight I guess I wasn’t good enough at hiding
But yet she won’t know anything
I’ll keep it deep inside
Like I’ve always done
Like everything else I hide
My secret life