TRAPPED IN THIS HELL I KEEP SECRET

Trapped in my life
Never leaving without a knife
I can't cry any tear
The blade is always near
Because all I can do is bleed
Because it's what I need
I have no choice, no control
That addiction took it all
Trying to get rid of that pain
Red tears falling like the rain
I need it to get through the day
It's now been 7 years since that very first day
The only way to ease that tension and everything I keep inside
As from all everything everyday I hide
This pain must remain unseen, only to me it's real
To you it would seem unreal
Those secret wounds will never heal
Anyway, is it such a big deal ?
It started as a way to escape those overwhelming feelings
Now everyday as I have to do it it's worse than dying

Nobody I talk to, it's my secret

Of course one I will always regret
I lost myself along the way
I wish you could save my life everyday

WISHING I NEVER DID THAT

Lost in fear and hate
As well as hurt and pain
This is worse than death
Nothing you could ever understand
Because you've never done that
And trust me I wish I never had !

I'M FINE, REALLY, BELIEVE MY LIES

I live in a nightmare
But yet pretend to all that it's a dream
Making up happy and funny events and stories about me
So they will like me
And not get to know the real me
Never wanting to face reality
And never sharing with anybody
Because it's too scary
So I always live in that lie
That everything is fine
Everyday telling you that everything's great and I'm fine

BLOOD FALLING LIKE A RIVER

I'm broken into pieces
Nobody could ever understand this
I can't be put back together
Blood falling like a river

CHANGE DOESNT HAPPEN

Why should I
Believe in change
When I've tried so hard
Several times in the past
Always failed
Everything even worse after each try
I finally gave up
This addiction I can't beat
No, that battle I always lose
Will have all of me
But it's our secret
It's just between you and me
Dear diary don't betray me !

DO YOU LOVE OR CARE ?

Do you love me the way I love you
Or are you playing with me too ?
Would you catch me if I fall ?
Would you even care at all ?