I DONT KNOW WHY

I don't know why
But it's happening again
I feel so sad deep inside
I want to cry
But I know I can't
And I want nobody to see
I so need it right now
I need to do it
It's not just in my head
But I don't want to give in once again
Like everyday I have to try to be strong
But I know this feeling won't go away
Unless I do it
And I know that it will only 'help' for a short moment
Before I have another urge to do that same thing
The worst part is that I'm all alone
Nobody to 'help'
Would I let them do anyway ?
Would I let anyone enter my world of pain and suffering ?
Maybe not

YOU TRY TO ESCAPE FROM YOURSELF

You try to escape from yourself
But you know that no matter how hard you try
There's nothing to do, you can't
You want to be relieved from all this pain
Because of the blade you're so ashamed
All those scars you always hide
All those fears and feelings inside
Everyday another fight
That battle you know you can't win
It has the control over you
All alone with your only way to cope
After so many years you lose all hope

I TRY TO MOVE AHEAD

I try to move ahead
But it's in my head
I can't move on
I wonder what's going on

I FAILED...

I failed suicide twice
The third one will be the good one
Everything is just too hard
Everything's become dark
This pain is real
So many wounds will never heal
I've become nothing but a mess
Soon I will be able to rest
As I'm gonna die
But don't worry I'll be alright