BE HAPPY

Don't know if I should be proud
Of telling you a bunch of fucking crap
Like 'Smile at life and life will smile at you'
Or other stupid things like that
When I don't mean a single word of it
And feel so bad deep inside
Hiding a deeper sadness, anger, pain and confusion than ever
But I don't want you to know
You say you're a friend
But you can't understand
I want nobody to suffer
Knowing I'm going under
Everyday deeper
Falling harder
The good thing is
They all believe everything I say
The way I say I feel
They don't know nothing's real
Just a huge lie
Just tellnig them what they want to hear
When all I want is slit my wrists once again and die
Hoping it's the good one this time
Leaving for good
Cause it's too much, too hard right now
Letting them see I'm happy
Before forever I disappear
Soon without saying anything, no goodbye
I've rarely felt that bad
I couldn't even describe it
I don't want to anyway
I don't care anymore
Now it's too late
The call of the grave
Closing myself on everything and everyone
Living and dying in this huge lie
That I'm alright
Maybe I should feel bad for lying to them
And even ignoring a few when not just keeping them at a distance
Maybe I should even stop venting my stupid shit here
Not like it changes anything anyway
Just another waste of time
I better think of my next lie
For you to think I'm alright
So you'll be happy
Not knowing I die

NEVER LOSE HOPE

Never lose hope in life
You can always do and be better
If you fall just stand up and fight
Learn from your mistakes
They'll help you grow up
You can always improve
You can be better
As long as you're nothing like me
So don't worry
And remember to be happy

I HEAR A NOISE

I hear a noise
I turn around
But you're not here

THE MORE...

The more I write
The more I bleed
The more I think
The more I worry
The more I hide
The more I lie
The more inside I cry
The more I'm hurt

MY VISION IS BLURRED

My vision is blurred
I dont know what to do to see clear
My body's here
But my mind wanders somewhere else

TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO !

Tell me why do I cry those red tears
How everything's becoming worse everyday
Why am I not like you ?
Tell me why I'm weak
Tell me what I should do

EVERY MORNING

Every morning I wake up
Wondering how many times I'll have to bleed
What lies I'll have to tell
Why you're not here to not let me do those things
Why I became this mess... nothing

SAYING I'M OKAY

Saying I'm okay
Is the lie I tell you everyday
Saying everything's fine
Is just to keep you away from what hides inside

TAKE A LOOK INSIDE OF YOURSELF

Take a look inside of yourself
And tell me what you see
Share with me
And then maybe I'll share a bit with you

Tell me those words
You hide inside
Share your feelings with me
Then maybe I'll let you know the truth

Share your pain with me
But don't ask about mine
Mine can only destroy one mind, one body
... mine

THE WORST IS YET TO COME

It's not a way to live
It's a way to die
When you think the bad stuff is over
The nightmare only begins
The worst is yet to come

...

I don't know how I feel
It's like I can't breathe
I don't know what I should see
When my eyes are shut as I bleed