I DONT KNOW WHY

I don't know why
But it's happening again
I feel so sad deep inside
I want to cry
But I know I can't
And I want nobody to see
I so need it right now
I need to do it
It's not just in my head
But I don't want to give in once again
Like everyday I have to try to be strong
But I know this feeling won't go away
Unless I do it
And I know that it will only 'help' for a short moment
Before I have another urge to do that same thing
The worst part is that I'm all alone
Nobody to 'help'
Would I let them do anyway ?
Would I let anyone enter my world of pain and suffering ?
Maybe not