MY FORTRESS

Years ago I locked myself up
In the only place I could feel safe - Myself
I let nobody in
This is my fortress
I’m the only one who has the key

I hold my fate in my hands
Wondering everyday what’s good to be done
Who I’m supposed to be
What I’m supposed to do
What decisions should be made

These thoughts keep flowing into my head
Like I can never forget
They’re always the same
Hiding deep inside my mind
The only place they can be

I don’t show others my weaknesses
Because they’re mine
I don’t talk to other people
Because I got nothing to tell them
And I don’t want to bother

I’m alone and I don’t care
This is me and the way it’s supposed to be
I might not have the perfect life
But there’s worse than me
And I’m fine

We should never complain about what we have, or don’t have
Look at your neighbor
He might be suffering from a cancer
I’d feel stupid with my small issues
When I see him suffering more than me

Everything happens for a reason
I am the way I am
Because of the past
This is also my present
And probably part of my future too

Everyday is a new challenge
We’re fighting to live
We’re fighting to die
We don’t want to be noticed for the wrong reasons
We want to be remained good ones

I let nobody in to protect myself from the others
People used me and manipulated me in the past
Hurting my feelings
Making me feel bad about myself and making me loose my confidence, trust, faith & hope
And it only got worse

The only place I could think and feel safe
Was deep inside of me
Where I don’t need to wear a mask
Where I don’t need to pretend or hide
And can be the real ‘me’

I made the inside
I have secrets
Secrets aren’t supposed to be found
I hide and don’t want to be discovered
This is part of my privacy

This world is scary
Really dangerous
And I don’t feel safe
But inside my world, my fortress
There’s no danger other than the one I choose

I’m the master of my life
I know it like nobody else
It’s normal it’s the way I made it
One day you live
The next day you can die

I live in the darkness
Deep inside my fortress
I can’t choose what’s happening outside
But I can choose what’s happening inside
My life is mine and she belongs to me

I don’t like people to disturb it
Trying to force me to change it
My life is how I made it
This is mine you can’t own it
In my way I take care of it

I make my own decisions
Sometimes good, sometimes wrong
I’m the only owner of my life
I do whatever I want with it
Good or bad it’s up to me

I do believe that I can control what’s happening somehow
It’s like I hold my life in my hands and can look at it
For some reason it’s like there’s a voice within me
Telling me how bad I can act sometimes
Or how smart I can be if I give it a chance

I lie inside myself for hours
Thinking about what I am
How my life became like this
Who I’m supposed to be
And what I should do

This is just me
There’s no lie
Only mystery
I live alone in this fortress
And I’m happy like this

Maybe one day, in a few years, I’ll find someone I truly trust
Someone who’ll give me his heart and truly care about me
Someone who’ll know how to deal with me and my life
And I’ll give him my precious key
And let him come to me