WRONG CHOICES

Don’t look at me
Don’t say you know me
Don’t judge what you see
And let me be

This is my destiny, my fate
I opened the wrong gate
And now it’s too late
I’m stuck in this state

At first I thought it was a game
Some kind of escape
And now I’m trapped
In a dark cage

Sometimes I feel like letting go
But I know I have to hold on
Things can get better I know
I just have to let it flow

Sometimes I forget myself the truth between the lies
It’s like I’m caught in the middle
Trapped inside a body I didn’t choose
Caught in a life I didn’t want

Some days I tell myself that I can change
But soon afterwards I realize
That I’m just too scared to even try
Because I don’t know how it’s like

It’s like a fight
For something you can’t understand
Something you don’t imagine
Something called pain

There’s nothing else I could do
I chose my way
I thought I was right
I thought it was the only way

But now I know I was wrong
There were other ways
And now I’m caught
In this screwed life

I’m a lost soul
My heart’s broken
I lost myself in this maze
I lost my confidence and my faith

All my hopes are gone
From the day you went away
Now I’m crying these tears alone
Hoping that your face would just fade away

My dreams are empty
My tears are cold
In the inside I cry
In the outside I fake a smile

I’m crying out for help
Help I’m too ashamed to ask
Now I’m dying in this hell
And I can’t blame anyone else

In my eyes you will see
All the truth my mouth can’t say
You will find the real me
And the lies will fade away

My mouth can lie
My eyes can’t lie
Just take a closer look
Deep inside the closed book

The smile on my lips is a lie
But the look in my eyes is real
Behind every lie
Hides a sadness, pain or fear

Don’t ask me how I’m doing
Ask me what’s wrong
See the truth between the lies
And say all you have to say

Those wounds will never heal
They will always burn
What can I do now ?
What’s done is done

For each thing I didn’t eat
For each thing I rejected from inside
For each pain or anger I tried to ease
I feel so ashamed

Sometimes I feel so alone
Nobody to listen to me
Nobody to reassure me
Like I have to live on my own

I give up on everything
Each time there’s an obstacle
Or when I feel like it’s too hard
Because it’s easier to give up on things

They say there’s a consequence to each action
That there’s a solution to each situation
I choose the easy way out
And end in a blackout

I’m a mess
And it’s my entire fault
I’m guilty for making the wrong choices
Taking the wrong decisions

Now it’s too late
Damages have been made
There’s nothing I can do
I can’t start all over new

In this life I’ve lived
In this life I’ve died
In this life I’ve smiled
In this life I’ve cried

Now I have to live in this shit
I’m responsible for it
It’s mine I made it
I think I deserve it

The closed doors must be opened
The sealed heart must also be reopened
It’s been so long I don’t know how
Just show me how

Can something wash my sins ?
Can someone save me from this mess that I’ve become ?
Can someone see through me ?
Can someone take me by the hand ?

Sometimes I feel
That every step I take
Is another mistake
And always hide the way I really feel

I’m weak outside
I’m weak inside
I was stupid
I was blind

For each drop of blood that I lost
There was a real pain and anger I tried to ease
Each lie I had to tell
Was the consequence of that action

I thought it was the only way
To take it out, to let it go
But now that I look back years ago
I’m sure there was another way

I wish I could forget
And move ahead
I wish I could turn back
And make my life pink and not black

This road I chose wasn’t the best
It was a mistake
That almost led me to death
There’s something I can’t fake

I tried to follow the rules of life
But I followed the rules that lead to death instead
In my heart the hole is big
In my head everything is black

I made all the stupidest things I could
Not to be noticed
Not by pleasure
But to feel

Sometimes I wonder who cares
But I never ask myself Do I even care ?
I’m just lost inside a life I didn’t choose
Events I never wanted to go through

Why should I be waiting
For dreams that won’t never come true ?
Or for having the life
I will never have ?

Why should I be wasting my time
Searching for the lover I’ll never find
Or the best friend
That will never leave me

I’m sick of feeling that way
I want to change
I want to be different
I want to be strong

I don’t want a lover I want a friend
I never want to feel alone again
I don’t want to cry again
I want this pain to end

I want to feel loved
By friends, my family
And also try to love me
I just want to feel loved

I want to forget the pain
I want to forget the one I love
I want to forget all the bad things
I want to move on, be free and start all over new

Some people think
That I don’t listen to what they say, but I do
I’m just too weak to accept
The hand they’re holding me

I wish I was strong enough
To say Hey this is me, look at me
This is not what I wanted to be
So please do somethin’

Am I ready to be healed ?
I don’t think I’ll ever be
Am I willing to change ?
Yes

Give me faith
Give me hope
Give me confidence
Give me love

Take my hand
Help me escape from this hole
Help me see the sun shine again
Take me to the bright side of life

Now all that I want
Is to be given another chance
To move on from all that crap
And try to be happy again

I want to move on from black to pink
From sadness to happiness
From hate to love
From lies to truth

I want to be able to look in the mirror
And say This is me
I don’t want to feel disgust anymore
I want to be proud of being me

I lost myself on the road
I have two choices
Death or life
Now I choose life

Because this isn’t me
This isn’t who I chose to be
Now everything I have to hide
Is forever hid inside

I don’t want to lie to my friends anymore
I want to live one day at the time and see what life as in store
I also want to think about my future
I don’t want to be a failure

I just want to be a better version of me
For that I can I rely on you
So now I’m asking you
To set me free !