MASTER AT SILENT PAIN

I’m thirsty
There’s no more Martini
They call me to eat their fuckin’ food
I lie pretending I already had some food

I know they won’t leave me alone
They’re always on my back
Telling what I should do
Showing me how stupid I am

It hurts me as I try to ignore them
I just nod and go away
Thinking about easing my pain and anger
Dealing with my emotions my own way

They think they motivate me
But they just bring me down
I don’t bother trying to prove them right or wrong
They don’t care about what I want

My studies are too hard
I feel so stupid
Like I can never do something right
I think I should give up

The results I don’t wanna know
I know that I failed anyway
So why bother going tomorrow and see them on the blackboard, I couldn't face people after that
I’m good at nothing and it’s not about to change

Addicted to giving up on things
Addicted to suffering
Addicted to failing everything
Addicted to taking the easy way out and dealing with things my own ways

Several times I prayed not to open my eyes the next morning
A few times I tried to leave this fuckin’ world
Everyday I think that this is the solution to reach the eternal release
But even that I can only fail, unable to even succeed taking my own life

Everyday I’m crying watching the red liquid running out of my veins
But ‘happy’ to feel a bit better as I don’t think of anything for a moment
Everyday I have to hide and even lie sometimes
And keep pretending that nothing’s wrong as I like the way I can sometimes feel thanks to that and really don’t worry, I’m OKAY !

To hell with their yelling
To hell with their fuckin’ food
To hell with their fuckin’ words
Soon I won’t hear them anymore !