BORED AND SCARED

I’m in class
Getting bored
Tired
My eyes barely open
I prefer writing
Or at least trying
So I take my paper
And my pen
Hoping to have some inspiration
Escaping from this reality that I hate
Wishing I could dream
Dream of something nice
Thinking about skipping this afternoon
Not motivated at all
And the school year only begins
Too hard and depressive already
I feel like I can’t do it
I know I won’t make it
Wishing I was at home
Chatting to my friends
Looking for reassurance
Dreaming of meeting some of them

Oh God
5 hours left in this jail
I can’t believe it
It’s too long
Too boring
Trying not to fall asleep
But it’s hard
My eyes are barely open
Can’t really sleep at night
But I could easily fall asleep in here
Total boredom

I’ve just heard a bad news
A really bad one
I’m just really nervous now
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know how to handle this
I can’t
I know I can’t avoid it
I’m just really scared
And can’t stop thinking about it
And I know I won’t until that day has arrived
This is just my biggest nightmare
And my biggest fear
Coming true
Why is this happening to me ?
Why now
After so long
I’m so lost and scared right now
So scared I can feel my pulse beat faster
Too fast
Like when I have to do it
I want to do it
Right here
Right now
And I have everything I need
But I can’t
Not here
Not in class
I just have to be strong
But it’s hard
Really hard
You can’t imagine
It’s deep inside my head
If you knew what I’m thinking about right now
The only thing I’m trying hard not to think about
Damn, this can’t be real
Tell me it’s just a nightmare
And I’ll wake up soon
Cause the day that scary day arrives
Will be my dying day
I can swear it will be
If it happens as bad as I picture it in my head
If they don’t believe my lies
This day my friend
Will be my last one !