CANT PUT WORDS ON MY FEELINGS

I can’t put words on my feelings
Or anything that’s happening
But as nobody never listened
We will never know what would have happened
It doesn’t matter now
They can’t see I’m going down
Everyday the way/what I feel I don’t understand
As I look at the blade in my hand
After keeping many things inside for some time
It explodes big time
As I can do nothing else but use it on myself
Everyday I hide from all as I live in hell
Everyday I wish it was a nightmare and I will wake up
But as I feel that pain I need
And see myself bleed
I know this is no nightmare
It’s real
I’m a lost cause
I will never heal